are you in the game?

so here i am, 2am with too much in my system and my mind.

Let's face it, most of us don't like to play games but the truth is, us sick and twisted human beings LOVE the teasing, the jealousy, the hard-to-get. What is wrong with us? Are we being hypocritical when we say we want someone to just be up front about their feelings? But in the end don't regard any of it? Honest to blog, we get bored when someone is easy to open up, and tells you straight forward that they like you. How gross is it that we like to torture our minds and someone elses feelings because we are required by human nature to give that element of surprise, not to show your hand too early in the game? Sure a lot of women say "why cant all guys be honest about their feelings and not play with you unless they like you?" but the sad reality is, we do it too. little. female. dogs.

stream of thought

too much de ja vue has been happening in my life. different people, similar situations...at first i thought it was just a coincidence, then it just happened again and again then i finally realized (after a long random conversation with killa), oh its me definitely.

i need to pluck up some courage for myself. my dignity. self respect.

WHO are you to think you can treat me like dirt, scum, second rate?

i am through beyond through taking scraps, being too nice for my own good, and taken for granted.

regrets and mistakes, they're memories made.